November 3, 2008

McCain can still win.

The McCain-Palin ticket can still win. The Republican guard simply have to concentrate their last minute efforts on the ace planted up their sleeves by reactionary commentators over the past year, casting their Democratic opponent as the incarnation of the feverish Cold War nightmare dramatised in at least two movies and one Outer Limits episode: the candidate impostor!

(Cue voice-over in the style of the late
Don LaFontaine “He doesn’t believe prosperity trickles down! He wants to socialise your medicine and take away your guns. Obama – the Canadian candidate!”)

A quite plausible conspiracy considering not only the Democratic ticket’s centrist stance, but the ongoing clandestine usurpation of the USA by its northern neighbour; Canadians have actively sought to re-establish themselves and their values south of the border since the revolution.

The success of this “quiet invasion” is best measured by the average Americans (never mind Canadians) awareness of just how many hallmarks of American society and culture were – and continue to be – conceived by Canadians. From policy, to film and television, music, and everyday conveniences like the electric stove, plastic garbage bag, Blckberrys, Crocs, and local multiplex, the sinister Canadian touch can be felt in practically every single facet of America.

So, yes, McCain-Palin still stand a chance. By employing the time-honoured trick of distracting Americans from their domestic woes, and encouraging them to circle the wagons in a decisive stand against the Canadian
aggression and its counterfeit candidate.

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